Men Apparently Are Not Capable of Being Considerate

Another would-be date gone very very wrong. Another man thrown into the “fuck boy” category. I have tried to be reasonable. I even explained my point of view, but,I guess when you’re selfish and only thinking about your own feelings, it’s impossible to be apologetic for your wrongdoings and neglect…or blatant stupidity, as I’m almost sure now that this is what last night’s happenings amount to.

So…backstory: I met this guy through Tinder. He seemed interesting enough, had some things in common (namely, we both did poetry readings/spoken word), so I was like, *shrugs*, add him on Facebook. So, that happened talked a bit more, but then I got interested in someone more…interesting, and that fell off. That was a year ago.

So, last month or so, I go home to Memphis, to visit and whatnot, after having some steamy convo with this guy again and I’m like, *shrugs* why not try to meet up while we’re in the same city? So I hit him up and suggested we hang out. So I get there and mind my own damn business. I told him exactly when I was going to be there AND when I was leaving. I get a message from him via Facebook as I’m riding in the car going back to Knoxville (where I currently reside). That was a bust. But I’m type indifferent because, when someone is interested, then they hit you up when they know you’re around, or am I the only one who thinks that?

Anyways, got back to Memphis yesterday in the early evening. Having hit him up the night before to let him know I’d be in town this weekend. So when I arrived, I was like, “What are you up to?” and he more or less says “Nothing,” which, in regular people language means, not a damn thing. He asks if I’m available to which I respond that I am. I ask if he’s trying to see me. He says he is. So I tell him I’ll get changed and turn myself into an acceptable looking human being. He asks how long that’ll take. I say 20 minutes. He says okay.

Let’s stop right there.

This nigga said “Okay.” So, in my mind, that means, he’s giving me 20 minutes to make the magical transformation from road traveling hobo into this-may-or-may-not-be-a-first-date-if-I-decide-I-don’t-hate-you chic. So I went ahead and got dressed. That was around maybe 7:30.

8:00. 8:30. 9 o’clock pass. I start watching Scandal with the family, because at this point, I’ve gotten waaaay past being excited about finally meeting this guy to being indifferent. My mama is asking at this point if I stood up, and I don’t know how to answer her because this worthless human who calls himself “man” had me thinking he was on the way half a century ago. I finally get a message from him claiming he’s having some shit done to his car then he’ll be on the way. I’m like, *shrugs* whatever at this point. Scandal goes off. We start watching other shows. It’s at least 9:30 when he claims he’s around the corner. At this point, I’m just pissed because I could’ve been doing some other shit with my night if I knew he was full of shit. So I’m like, “Uh huh. Okay.” He asks if I still want to see him. I’m trying not to be mad, but I’m pissy because this nigga told me 2 plus hours ago that he was available and on the way. So I’m like, “Sure.”

I go out to the car, even though I’ve got an attitude because I’m already thinking he’s inconsiderate as fuck but I want to give him a chance because that’s the kind of stupid person I am. As soon as I get in the car, he’s already trying to dismiss my feelings. Talking about, “Do you have a curfew? No? Then you haven’t lost anything.” I’m like, nigga, don’t even look at me because you could’ve just fucking said you weren’t available because you clearly weren’t. He comes back with, “I was available.” I respond with, “Clearly not or your ass would’ve been here two hours ago.”

So this nigga offers me some candy, some CANDY that he apparently brought from his place of employment. I tell him I want some wine. You want me to stop being mad, I want wine. He’s like, “You’re serious?” And of course, I’m serious. You’re going to offer me something to get over the fact that you’ve been inconsiderate as hell, I get to choose what that object is and it’s wine, not candy, and not your worthless dick.

He says some smart ass shit to me. I’m amazing at arguing so I’m like, “I’ll go back in the house, I don’t give a fuck.” Keep in mind, we’re still sitting in his car outside the house. Anyways, so he takes me to a liquor store. I get out of the car, alone, and go get a bottle of red. I get back in the car. I’m like, “Where are we going?” He’s like, “Don’t look at me.” I’m like, *shrugs*, whatever. So I don’t look at him. He doesn’t say shit else to me, but at some point during the drive, I realize he’s taking me back home.

So we pull up at the house, I roll my eyes and grab the bottle of wine and try to unhook my seatbelt, but that shit is stuck so then he has to help. That takes WAY too goddamn long and his hand keeps brushing against my hip while he’s fucking with the stuck seat belt and just making me all pissy. I get out, slam the door and go in the house.

I check Facebook. This nigga has posted a status like, “Apparently some people didn’t take my last status seriously.” I go look at his status. “Avoiding all situations that give me a negative vibe.”

So at this point, I’m REALLY pissed because it’s his OWN fucking fault that I was pissed in the first place because he wasted half my night by being inconsiderate as fuck when I could’ve been out twerking on someone else’s dick. I post a status like, “Apparently I’m just a bitch for setting my standards and not having my time fucked with by inconsiderate people.” This nigga BLOCKS me.

So now, I’m laughing my head off, because this nigga doesn’t even KNOW me. I’m not a negative person. I just don’t like having my time fucked with, which is on short supply since I no longer live here and will be leaving in two days. And what’s extra crazy is that I planned a few days before I even got here to go to one of his poetry shows to support him, which I didn’t tell him about because I wanted it to be a surprise. But, no, I’m a negative person that needs to be avoided even though I’m trying to support your shitty art career.

Instead of rearranging my plans to do something else on Saturday night, my date suggested we go to the show anyway and ignore this worthless piece of human refuse together. So I agreed. We’ll see how stupid he looks then.

I hope he sees this, because if he does, then he knows he can choke on his own dick. I’ve dodged a whole stack of stupid and I’m glad about it. He’s the 5th person this week that assumed they knew more about me than I do, but I’m pretty damn sure if he’s waiting for a woman who isn’t going to be pissed after getting dressed for a date-thing then having to wait 2+ hours with no real idea of if he’s even coming or when, he’s going to his casket by his fucking self.

Cut inconsiderate people out of your life. I didn’t even have to lift a finger to get rid of this one because the trash took itself out.

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Who goes to get a hammy ham sandwich in the middle of the night and ends up getting her face bitten by an unhandsome stranger? This girl over here. I guess the lesson in that is: If you are a single woman, don't go buy anymore sandwiches in Brooklyn after 10 p.m. ✓ If you are a single woman, don’t go buy sandwiches in Brooklyn by yourself. ✓ Don’t go buy anything by your single woman self. That's obviously asking for trouble. ✓ Stay in the house for the rest of eternity to properly avoid men with teeth as all single women should do. ✓✓✓ Check out Tragically Hilarious Tales About Love on Amazon & Kindle for more.