Wearing silk clothing is the next best thing to being naked in the summer time

As it reaches past 100 degrees here in sunny Memphis, Tennessee, people hunt for ways to keep cool beneath the stinging light of the radiant sun. This has been brought to my mind because I had to make an emergency trip back to my hometown in which I packed my duffle bag within an hour. Understandably, I did an absolutely terrible job. Which seems to be a very frequent occurrence when I do anything in a hurry.

So, on day 3, I ran out of casual shirts. On this day, I was fortunately staying with my parents so all I had to do was go through my mother’s clothing to find a suitable shirt. of course, and she noticed that I had gone to her closet; she also knew that I didn’t care that she knew. We’ve been at this for years. You know, stealing each other’s clothes and shoes and stuff.

But day four rolled around, and I found it a lot more difficult to find something to wear that day (which is the day I’m writing this). So I went and checked my duffle bag and pulled out this lovely silk shirt that I found while I was in Paris. It was maybe 10 euros, possibly less. And, magically, despite being long-sleeved, it has been more comfortable than wearing cotton t-shirts, and a lot more fabulous.

Between this silk shirt and this headdress and these gold hoops, I feel runway-ready despite having a bare face (Hardy har, voice dictation wrote “bear”. Trying to insult me. ????) and a couple of evil zits that popped up overnight. Oh, and also, eyebrows that haven’t been tweezed since Jesus walked the Earth.

The special elite don’t want everyone to wear silk shirts, because silk makes people feel special. I am not the special Elite. I’m out here living this artist life, writing in coffee shops, and using voice dictation while I walk in parks on the days when I can’t afford coffee… because this writing won’t do itself… Anyways, my point is that I’m not out here making lawyer money suing people for violating their personal space or whatever the fuck lawyers do nowadays.

The special Elite, those assholes that don’t think that everyone deserves nice things…They make silk sound like it’s not affordable for everyone, but it can be. Yes, we have all heard that silk is only supposed to be dry cleaned, but I truly do not believe that and don’t do it myself. That’s why they have washed silk. Now, this may sound weird to some, but, I have maintained some of my silk clothing by simply washing by hand. It’s cheap, and will save you tons of money on dry cleaning. Why would I pay to have someone clean something that I can clean myself? And then put on a drying rack.

Now, on to the affordability point. I have found multiple silk shirts in thrift stores, at great prices, and in like new condition. That doesn’t mean that I won’t also splurge on something from Etsy or a high-end Boutique, it just means that I keep my options open, so that I have more shirts (and other stuff) for a little less money. Plus, there are so many things that you can find in thrift stores that you might not even be looking for.

Silky is sexy

There is also the added perk that silk shirts tend to last a lot longer than your average cotton t-shirt, they look a lot nicer, and they can range in anything from casual, to business casual, to something fancy and frilly. I keep harping on silk shirts probably because I’m wearing one at the moment, but so could definitely comes in any sort of clothing item that you can think of. It is lightweight and breathable to let in those nice hot slaps of air in the summer. I am getting some oxygen on my back right now. I do not feel overheated, I’m comfortable, and I do feel quite fabulous.

Another thing that I would recommend is investing in some silk tank tops. You can use them for layering, to give you a nice lightweight barrier between whatever you want on the outside and your skin. If you don’t know by now, I am saying skin because there is a very slim likelihood that I am ever wearing a bra with my silk anything.

In a Memphis heat where it gets so hot is that being naked probably does not improve your chances of frying beneath the sun like bacon, I have discovered that silk is an improvement over cotton, and is the next best thing to being butt ass naked in the summertime.

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Who goes to get a hammy ham sandwich in the middle of the night and ends up getting her face bitten by an unhandsome stranger? This girl over here. I guess the lesson in that is: If you are a single woman, don't go buy anymore sandwiches in Brooklyn after 10 p.m. ✓ If you are a single woman, don’t go buy sandwiches in Brooklyn by yourself. ✓ Don’t go buy anything by your single woman self. That's obviously asking for trouble. ✓ Stay in the house for the rest of eternity to properly avoid men with teeth as all single women should do. ✓✓✓ Check out Tragically Hilarious Tales About Love on Amazon & Kindle for more.